Why do we have to be good at everything and anything we do? Why does this pressure to excel even exist on us? What’s wrong with being average?
Consider the time and energy that could be saved if we didn’t run behind excellence. Optimum utilization is the word. Perhaps the guy who is ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none,’ has figured out life.
If you think about it, being average is really easy. It’s almost effortless and just imagine the endless possibilities in which you could have invested your resources including time, sleep, food, booze you name it and it’s yours. Procrastination wouldn’t have been a taboo. Life would have been easier than pronouncing ‘Easy peasy lemon squeezy’ isn’t it?
No! I don’t have 9-5 job. I work a LOT. I stay home most days. I love my keyboard. I’m highly sensitive. I spend my days immersing myself in the personal growth world. Maybe in some ways I’m (definitely) not normal – some of the ways that I go against the grain of the society. And you know what? It’s okay
So yeah, I’m comfortably okay with the basic skills which I possess. I wonder when people will understand that it’s okay to be okay.
There is no room left for me to breath. Before I am completely awake, I can indulge in being somebody else. No one expect anything from me just yet. There is nothing to remember, so there are no burdens to carry. My fears don’t exists. Living feels so simple.
REALLY? HELL NO!
So many people around me expect from me. I can’t measure the weight of burden. My features do exists. Living is the most complicated I fo. The dead are still alive. Morning are sobering, to say the least.
But the truth is, I am just doing exactly what everyone else is doing – having nothing in my heart but being appreciated for lying and living. I am not even brave, it’s just too monotonous. Waking up, grooming myself for the world, a toy that just needs a twist to run.
Of course, I’m comfortably okay with the basic skills which I possess. I just wonder when people will understand that it’s okay to be okay. Everything that was, still is. So, weather I like it or not I pull myself together and I do it all again.
Okay, so on her birthday, instead of calling, sending message on social media, posting on her timeline, I wrote an email. Here’s an exact copy of it.
Well hey there, from there I usually starts my all email. But this one is different.
Should I have to mention anything else? Oh yes I have to! Here it goes.
Our journey starts with the first semester college event “Event-o-fest”. Remember? Yep that one; when we build that capacitor-charger-sort-of-thing. Since then how much hangouts, tens of thousands messages, lots of fun, moments and what not?. Not to mention worst time in 3rd semester. 😦
Later on, after millions of unforgettable memory and hundreds of screenshots :D, I do realize that you are not just a friend or best friend you are more than that. You know, we all have that one companionship bond with someone in life, mine is with you. But recent events says a lot; (you know what I am talking about) but it’s gonna catch on.
However the “The truth about being the girl who is always okay?” In all honesty, it doesn’t feel good. And that hurts, I know. In the rawest, deepest way, because no one notice just how lost you are. But the way you are handling whatever life throws in your way is just fascinating. The kind that gets deep into your bones. I know.
You’re playing a part that no one played before with me in the first place. It feels like memorized lines, and knowing when to smile whenever someone looks at you as to ensure they don’t catch on. It feels like never being able to ask for help, because you are usually the person who fixes everything for me. It feels like having someone to talk, having someone around always when I need.
Let me be honest here, I didn’t shared much thing about my life (experience, feelings) to anyone in the universe that I shared with you nor asked anyone for help. But the way you did it without asking, believe it or not I am never gonna repay that. Ever.
But today is the day that everything changed 20 years ago. You came to the world! I wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. For through the wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.
Oh and by the way, remember those screenshots? Yep that one, you asked me to delete! I still have that. Oops! (Oh! I am gonna pay for it.)
Cheers to you!
Your nerdy friend
I am a liar who is stealing all the credits for smiling and living through all the small moments and calling it life.
But I know I am not brave, it’s just too monotonous. Waking up, grooming myself for the world, a toy that just needs a twist to run.
I live in a world that is so messed up. In justice, greed, hate, jealousy, on every street corner. In every heart. I live in a world where human worth is measured in bank balances and Facebook friends. Where the proud are exalted and the weak go unnoticed. Is it supposed to feel so pointless?
But the truth is, I am just doing exactly what everyone else is doing – having nothing in my heart but being appreciated for lying and living.
In peace, may you leave this shore,
In love, may you find the next,
Safe passage on your travels,
Until our final journey to the ground, May we meet again.
Sometimes I wonder if my life has all been an illusion, but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that reality is only what you make it.
Truth is not much else changes. You still hurt. You still love. You still wish and hope and fear things. And you still need people to help you with all of it. In some ways, that’s the best part.