To That One Soul

To that one soul, who’s reading this, you’re free to be whatever you choose, to say whatever you want, to be whatever you like and you can sing the blues if you want.

To that one soul, you can say whatever you want, even if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright. You no longer need to see what people want you to see.

To that one soul, there are people who will be jealous of your shine but clueless of your struggle. You think that will matter in future?

To that one soul, I know you are tired and afraid, and you probably so close to tear apart in million pieces if someone hugs you, but there’s strength within you. Even when you feel sad, you still have a zillion other reasons to be happy. Keep fighting and keep loving.

To that one soul, there’s no problem you can create and there’s no problem you can solve. Don’t rely on booze and weed to stay happy instead find love and peace in your heart. And it’s okay to shout for help and cry, that doesn’t make you weak.

To that one soul, being sad and crying for a week during bad times and celebrating good things just for a single day is okay. But don’t you think it needs to be the other way around? Shouldn’t we celebrating more?

To that one soul, it’s time to get on the track and cause no fuss, get a grip on yourself and get it right. You are free to handle each situation in your own way to tackle whatever comes in your way.

To that one soul, It’s not just you, we all lost someone (some precious people) with whom we had a really good bond. But can’t you be glad for the people around you right now? Can’t we just appreciate it, enjoy it, feel the energy they emit on you.

To that one soul, there are so many reasons to believe in a better world. After all Love has more hits than Fear.

Oh me? How did my year go? Same old shit. Just different day.

Peace and Love.

Hey Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from your secret Santa.

Dear you

Dear you,

I’m sorry I’m not very good at this “friendship” thing. Actually, I’ve never been. Honestly, I’m not very good at even having a conversation nowadays.

I don’t know what friendship is because I keep trying too hard, to be the funny one, or the responsible one, or the one they could talk to; whatever they expect of me, because of the time that they told me that this one thing, was why they liked me. “You’re good at things, you’re good with words, I can always count on you, you give amazing hugs.” (all lies) but this person inside of me, can’t understand who he wants to be, because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

And I see people around me, for whom it is just so easy, hi, hello, how have you been, a pat on the back, cool, I’ll see you soon, and I always turn away because I know that could never be me.

So then I go buy a cup of tea and stand there smiling trying to fit in, changing my personality like a chameleon hoping that out of those hundreds of people I pretend to be, you’d someday decide to choose me.

Because you see, (yes it’s f**king YOU!!) I don’t know what friendship is anymore, I don’t know what it means, or how it got so complicated.

So I guess that’s just how it’s supposed to be. Or maybe it really is, ‘just me’ who is wired differently. Is it? Can you ask yourself?

I don’t have a courage to talk to you nowadays. Not a single thing. That’s what you made me. Anyway, Here’s to every long lousy day I spent keep thinking about us.

In peace may you leave the shore.
In love may you find the next.
Save passage on your travels,
Until our final journey to the ground,
May we (NEVER) meet again.

My apologies,
Still working on it.
Z.

To Her Her

So as she asked and I made “pinky” promised earlier today here’s how much I know her.

From 2015’s AEM lecture to this very moment
From classmate to my well-wisher and supporter
From talking about people we pretend to be friend with to the people we know (you know)
From Sejal to (IvorySoda)
From daily nudges, pokes, fights to countless interesting conversation
From sharing to caring
From how you think to how you react
From your profession to passion
(In programming language) From front-end to back-end

However “The truth about being the girl who is always okay?” is not okay! In all honesty, it doesn’t feel good. And that hurts, I know. In the rawest, deepest way, because no one notice just how lost you are. But the way you are handling whatever life throws in your way is just fascinating. The kind that gets deep into your bones. I know. As you know some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness.

So, the bottom line is I don’t remember a day without nudging her and I don’t have to post anywhere to tell anyone that how much I know her.

*but I did* 😀

January 2018 so far:

From Profession to Passion
From final year Project to real time Project
From declaring war to declaring var
From Insiders Arena to Windows Latest
From “E:/bau badhu” to sorry that was by mistake
From Loosing People to meeting new
From things I like to things I write
From Nightmare to Dream
From Confusion to Conclusion
Life goes

When you will understand that it’s okay to be okay…!

Why do we have to be good at everything and anything we do? Why does this pressure to excel even exist on us? What’s wrong with being average?

Consider the time and energy that could be saved if we didn’t run behind excellence. Optimum utilization is the word. Perhaps the guy who is ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none,’ has figured out life.

If you think about it, being average is really easy. It’s almost effortless and just imagine the endless possibilities in which you could have invested your resources including time, sleep, food, booze you name it and it’s yours. Procrastination wouldn’t have been a taboo. Life would have been easier than pronouncing ‘Easy peasy lemon squeezy’ isn’t it?

No! I don’t have 9-5 job. I work a LOT. I stay home most days. I love my keyboard. I’m highly sensitive. I spend my days immersing myself in the personal growth world. Maybe in some ways I’m (definitely) not normal – some of the ways that I go against the grain of the society. And you know what? It’s okay

So yeah, I’m comfortably okay with the basic skills which I possess. I wonder when people will understand that it’s okay to be okay.

Breath

There is no room left for me to breath. Before I am completely awake, I can indulge in being somebody else. No one expect anything from me just yet. There is nothing to remember, so there are no burdens to carry. My fears don’t exists. Living feels so simple.

REALLY? HELL NO!

So many people around me expect from me. I can’t measure the weight of burden. My features do exists. Living is the most complicated I fo. The dead are still alive. Morning are sobering, to say the least.

But the truth is, I am just doing exactly what everyone else is doing – having nothing in my heart but being appreciated for lying and living. I am not even brave, it’s just too monotonous. Waking up, grooming myself for the world, a toy that just needs a twist to run.

Of course, I’m comfortably okay with the basic skills which I possess. I just wonder when people will understand that it’s okay to be okay. Everything that was, still is. So, weather I like it or not I pull myself together and I do it all again.